We found out we were having a girl at 14 weeks. After 3 boys, she was what we had prayed for, and we already had a name picked out- Anaiah meaning “God has answered” In Hebrew. Two weeks later a positive spina bifida test would change our family for the rest of our lives. I prayed with all the faith that the test would be a false positive. We waited two long weeks for the ultrasound. On the day of the ultrasound before we left our home I remember looking up and saying this is in your hands God. We got to our appointment, and the ultrasound tech looked for what seemed like a lifetime. She left the room and then a doctor came in and said those dreaded words “I’m sorry your baby has a condition called anencephaly” I had read about it and I knew exactly what it was. It was a rare diagnosis - 3 in 10,000 - it’s a neural tube defect and it means her skull would not form properly. I had prayed for our baby to not have the worse form of spina bifida. I broke down. My husband also broke down like I had never seen him and we drove home destroyed. How could this be? We have had three healthy boys and now our only girl would not get to stay with us.
Our diagnose was at 17 weeks on March 1st 2017. We spent the rest of our pregnancy waiting to meet our precious angel. Every kick was a blessing. She would wake me up every morning kicking so hard, and it was just so unbelievable to think she would not make it after she was born. Our baby came earth side on August 17,2017. She was like a sleeping angel, we didn’t get to see her eyes open because she passed away during labor. She was able to meet her brothers and we were able to hold her for three perfect days. She will forever live in our hearts and we believe she was sent to us for a reason. Because of her, I have learned to live my life to the fullest and always give thanks no matter what you go though. God showed me the light in the darkest of the moments, even through you walk through the valley of death He is there always comforting you. Faith is not about everything always going the way you expect it to, it’s about holding on and praying and believing what you pray for. One way or another our baby was healed. She is in heaven, now perfect and waiting to meet us when we reunite one day.
Anaiah’s three brothers prayed for a healthy baby for sometime after her loss, and 6 months later we found out we were pregnant with our rainbow baby. It wasn’t an easy pregnancy after loss but he came perfect as can be on 10.13.18. He is now 5 months old. Josiah “God has healed” has brought us great healing to our broken hearts but Anaiah will always have a part of my heart..