I had a pretty normal pregnancy, or least what I understood to be my “normal”. I was really sick with my first son, and so it was fitting that I was sick the second time around. For the majority of my pregnancy, I was in shock that I was even pregnant. A few months prior, I had to have my right fallopian tube removed and my other one unblocked. During the weekend of Mother’s Day 2017, I found out I was expecting only to find out that the pregnancy would probably not make it. It did not. A couple months later, I was getting ready for a girls weekend, and I had that feeling… that sinking feeling. My cycle wasn’t due for another week but I just knew. I went to Walgreens and bought a trusty ole’ Clear Blue Easy digital pregnancy test. I took the test and forgot about it until a few hours later. I was PREGNANT. I immediately scheduled appointment for a blood draw. The couple of hours I had to wait for the results seemed like an eternity. My test came back with great results and I was ready for this adventure.
This time around, due to my age, I had to visit my Ob/GYN and another specialist weekly. With every single appointment, everything was fine. I also did some genetic testing, and those results came back normal as well. The doctor scheduled my cesarean date for March 16, 2018. The morning of February 27th I was on my way to my routine appointment and all of the sudden a pain hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so tempted to pull over and turn around and go home. I’m so glad I didn’t because I may not be typing this story at this very moment. Beau Seth Newton was born about an hour later.
He was suffering from epilepsy due to lack of oxygen. My placenta had ruptured. I had no idea because I did not bleed out.
He was immediately flown to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. After many tests and a MRI, it was determined that Beau suffered severe brain damage due to Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (HIE). The neurologist gave us two impossible choices. We ultimately decided not to take extraordinary measures. At first, it seemed like he was going to pull through. His heartrate was strong, and he was breathing on his own. On March 17, we received a call that this may be the day he would pass. We drove the hour long drive in silence. When he got to the hospital, he was being held to and sang to by one of the nurses. The staff were Godsend. They loved our sweet Beau and showed us every day how much they cared. He fell asleep and his breathing became very slow. The staff gave us our space. He looked at us intently, squeeze our fingers, and share his innocent baby coos. He was giving us what we needed and showed us that his little body was tired. He lived 18 days. He passed away held by his father (my husband) and sang to and prayed over by me. He was at peace. He waited for us to say goodbye.
Thank you for reading my story.
