On October 1, 2018, the worst thing happened to us.
I made my way to work and by 11:30 am, I hadn't felt my baby move that morning. I tried everything to wake her up and nothing was happening. So I made my way to the doctor. I remained positive as I chatted on the phone with my husband during my drive. When I arrived at the hospital, they checked for a heartbeat. This was something I did often at home with my fetal doppler monitor I bought on a rummage sale site. I knew instantly something was wrong. The nurse couldn't find the heartbeat. Before I knew it, the worst news had been confirmed, our precious baby didn't have a heartbeat and I'd have to deliver her. Over the next two days, our family and friends poured their love and support into us. Our beautiful and precious Bristol Joelle Dahlin was born on October 3, 2018. Bristol was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. She was our first baby, no other children at home. Our lives completely changed forever. I was 35 weeks pregnant, and they determined there was a cord malfunction.
As we go on without her, we miss everything we were supposed to have. A crying baby in our house, sleepless nights, cute baby coos, changing her into all the girly outfits I bought. I miss the kicks when she was inside me. She kicked like crazy during The Bachelorette. I miss the ridiculous heartburn from the wild head of brown hair she had. We were supposed to get dressed up to ride with her Daddy in the tractor. I miss the perfect little bestie I never got to have.
Everyday seems to be a little easier than the last. However, we miss her like crazy. The days get better as we meet others who have faced the same heartbreak we have. We have a wonderful support team of family and friends. Most importantly, we have each other. My husband and I have an incredible relationship, and while some might think this could tear two apart, it has brought us together to be hopeful for our future.
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